Singing Down the Walls: My Experience with a Gay, Christian Music Group

I thought that I would never again set foot in my campus’s chapel, but last night showed that I was wrong. I went there to a concert for a Christian pop duo, Jason and deMarco. The reason why I went? Jason and deMarco are a gay, married couple.

I’ve said before that there are more Christians who are open to homosexuality and the idea that two people loving each other is not a sin just because they happen to be the same gender. However, what Jason and deMarco are doing is still rare, even in the secular community and even moreso in the Christian community. And, honestly, I think it’s great. I think that they are the type of people that this world needs. They came out and said, “Hey, we’re gay, we’re in love, and we’re also Christians.” It’s complicated. It seems contradictory. It forces people to reevaluate what they think about homosexuality, religion, faith, and the neat little categories and stereotypes that we like to force people into.

This is what it means to be out. This is why people need to come out of their own personal little closets. These closets can hide sexuality, they can hide religious beliefs, they can hide personal preferences about what makes other people attractive, they can hide political or philosophical beliefs. Whatever people are, they need to come out of their closets. They need to show the world that human beings are complex, often contradictory individuals and that our tidy little categories cannot possibly contain the vast spectrum of beliefs, attitudes, preferences, and sexualities that can reside in one unique individual. The people who are out challenge us to think, and if we rise to that challenge, we often embrace the ambiguity of the world and become more accepting. Jason and deMarco are two people who are helping others rise to that challenge simply by being who they are.

On a more personal note, I wonder what I would have thought of Jason and deMarco about two or three years ago. I still would have been a Christian, and one of the issues I would have been wrestling with was how I could reconcile my understanding of the Bible with facts about homosexuality. (Those facts being that homosexuality was not a choice, that gays were not child molesters or bad people, and that gays can have romantic relationships that are loving, caring, and understanding.) I probably would have felt a mixture of relief and joy at discovering a group like Jason and deMarco. “Finally!” I probably would have thought, “Here are people who get it! I’m not alone in the way that I think!” To me, they would have been an affirmation that I was not crazy, that God really could love and accept gays, and that Christianity could change and was changing. During the concert, Jason quoted Galatians 3: 28 (“There is no Jew nor Greek, nor slave nor free, nor male nor female, for you are all one in Jesus Christ.”–NIV) and concluded that we make issues like discrimination and acceptance more complicated than they have to be–all we really need to do is be open to accepting different kinds of people, if they are all one in Jesus Christ.

From a liberal Christian standpoint, it really is that simple. Unfortunately, the Christian community that I was in didn’t make it that simple. When I was a Christian, I wanted very badly to believe that God accepted and approved of homosexual love. However, the Christian community that I was in had a tradition of looking down on homosexuality as a lustful perversion, as something unholy and unnatural. I had to constantly defend what I thought against traditional beliefs about homosexuality, and the only way that I could do this legitimately was to defend what I thought with Scripture. This can be done, but the logical pretzels involved are incredibly complicated, and even then I felt as though there was still something wrong with what I thought, simply because it went against what the vast majority of people around me thought. When I finally left Christianity, in some ways, I felt very relieved. I no longer had to try to bend and twist Scripture without breaking it to reinforce what I knew was right. I could believe things simply because they were right and I didn’t have to try to used Scripture to defend what I already knew was true.

This is not to say that Jason and deMarco should stop being Christians. Obviously, they’ve reconciled Christianity with being openly gay, and they’d done so by emphasizing the love and compassion of Christian teachings. I think it’s great that they can do this, and the type of Christianity that they are promoting is the type of Christianity that I think our world needs. I also think that they are more likely to create change in the Christian community than I am. (Christians aren’t too keen on listening to people who’ve left the religion, but they might listen to people who still follow the religion, even if those people don’t follow the religion in quite the same way that they do.) So, for that reason, I applaud them.

I also applaud them for making nonChristians see Christianity in a new way. Really, I hate to say this but it’s true: since leaving Christianity–heck, even before I left Christianity–I tend to stereotype Christians, and my stereotypes are mostly negative.  I don’t want to see them that way, but that’s what my initial reaction tends to be. Fortunately, lately I’ve met some Christians who don’t fit those stereotypes, and Jason and deMarco don’t fit those stereotypes either. I might have been even more encouraged to disregard some of my stereotypes if more of the audience had been comprised of Christian students on campus instead of members of the nearby city’s PFLAG chapter and student members of the campus’s gay-straight alliance. Still, I guess the fact that my campus is even having a group like Jason and deMarco perform on campus shows that Christians can take small steps in the right direction.

As to their music itself, I wish I could have heard more of it during the concert. Mostly, they did covers of other songs, and I would have rather heard music that they’ve written. I’m also not terribly excited by pop music to begin with, so I thought that the music itself was good. Not great, but good. Their chemistry on stage, however, was pretty good. They bantered like…well, like a married couple. It was very sweet. They also came off as very genuine, and they seemed more interested in promoting their message by just being themselves and being honest than by engaging in debate or being confrontational. The way that they are promoting themselves is refreshingly far from the heated rhetoric and name-calling that usually accompanies these kinds of issues.

While the music didn’t knock me over and take my breath away in the same manner that some artists’ music has, I certianly support that message that their music conveys. If you would like to do the same, you can visit their website here.

Queer Theory from the Japanese

Yesterday, we had a little talk with the students about GLBT issues, mostly because sexualities that deviate from heterosexuality are not discussed in Japan, and we wanted the students to know that for the most part in America being queer is okay. (There are still some prejudices out there, but apparently, compared to Japan, America is much more accepting of homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgenderism.) Part of the reason that we had this discussion is because there are a few students whom we suspect might be queer, and even if they aren’t, we also want the students to realize that making fun of people for being gay will, largely, not be tolerated in America.

 It was only after we’d discussed what we were going to say to the students that I googled gay culture in Japan. (Normally, whenever I’d want to know about something, Google would be the first place to look, but my time for computer access has been limited.)What I found was enough information and controversy to write several volumes of books.

 To highlight some interesting facts:

 1) In Japan, there is no moralizing about how heterosexuality is “right” and homosexuality is “wrong.” Instead, the focus is on individualism versus collectivism. America is an individualistic society in which the needs of the individual are valued before the needs of the group and everyone is encouraged to be different. In Japanese culture, the needs of the group are valued before the needs of the individual. Everyone is encouraged to sacrifice for the group and practice conformity. Being homosexual/bisexual/transgendered is seen as “wrong” not for any moral reason, but because being queer is a way of being different, which is discouraged.

 2) There doesn’t seem to be much comprehensive education about GLBT issues in Japan. The Japanese often confuse homosexuality with transsexuality and transgenderism. The Japanese program assistant even said that some Japanese people are probably homosexual, bisexual, or transgendered but do not realize that they are because these issues are not discussed openly in their culture.

 3) The Japanese actually have a history of sexual openness and acceptance, as seen from some of their ancient literature and art. The arrival of Western ideas seems to have made queer behavior a taboo.

 4) There is an openly gay section of Tokyo, but most Japanese homosexuals remain in the closet.

 5) In some ways, the Japanese are more accepting of homosexuality than Americans, as long as a person does not advertize his/her homosexuality. However, being openly queer can lead to shunning. In America, this would not be seen as a horrible punishment, but in Japan, people have been known to commit suicide because of exclusion from a group, as would be expected from a collectivist culture.

I didn’t have much time for research, but towards the end, I started to find some articles that delved more deeply into queer culture in Japan than the superficial surface articles in Wikipedia. One article that I read focused on the colonialism of western homosexuality—meaning that western ideas of what it means to be queer are being forced on nonwestern cultures.

This idea had never occurred to me before. I’d never given much thought to how Western ideas of homosexuality were being forced on other cultures, but, from what I read, that seemed to be the case, depending on the writer’s viewpoint, of course. Part of the problem seems to be that the Japanese conception of homosexuality comes from their pop culture, which portrays all gay men as cross-dressers and all lesbians as butch. A Japanese man might admit that he is sexually attracted to other men, but he wouldn’t identify himself as “gay.” In Japan, “gay,” means a queen. A feminine woman who desires other women wouldn’t identify herself as a lesbian, because she isn’t butch.

Of course, not all American gays are queens and not all American lesbians are butch, but isn’t that still the stereotype here in America? For instance, I once met a man who was gay, but I never would have guessed because he didn’t fit the stereotype of the effeminate gay man. He didn’t lisp, prance, make dramatic hand gestures, or look overly neat. In fact, he had a deep voice, a sturdy stance (he was a sports writer whose special interest was in football), understated gestures, and casual dress. No American would have guessed that he was gay.

 And ultimately, that is his right. He can define his homosexuality in whatever way he wants; he can decide for himself what it means to be gay. And people of other cultures should have that same right. They should be able to decide for themselves what being homosexual or bisexual or transgendered means for them and their culture.

 For instance, when we American PAs (program assistants) suspected that some of the students might not be straight, our immediate goal was to out them. Of course, we weren’t going to confront them and force them out of the closet, but we believed that if we let them know that they had a supportive environment in which to come out, they would come out of the closet. And we saw their coming out as a good thing. In America, we tend to believe that whatever you are, you should be open and up front about it. We believe that coming out of the closet is better than staying in it, whatever your closet may be. I know that I often feel guilty for still not having told my friends that I’m no longer a Christian. I feel as though I’m not being honest with them.

 In Japan, however, the focus is not on someone’s individual personality and preferences. The focus is on maintaining harmony within the group. So, in many circumstances, it is perfectly appropriate not to share information about yourself, and doing so is not seen as being dishonest. This includes information about one’s sexuality. One article that I read said that even though the Japanese do not talk openly about homosexuality, their “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy works quite well in their culture. People are free to be queer as long as they do not advertise their difference from the heterosexual majority. To Americans, this would seem to be repressive, but some gays point out that the openly queer culture in America and the stereotypes that it sometimes supports can also be repressive in its own way.

 While I admit that there is some truth in that, I still feel that there should be a place for people who want to be openly queer. They should not need to fear open hostility (which they are often confronted with in America) or shunning (which they are often confronted with in Japan). Japan’s policy of keeping homosexuality quiet might, in some ways, be appropriate to their culture, but I still feel that homosexuals and bisexuals should be granted basic rights that straight people take for granted, such as the right to marry someone of the same sex and the right to be free from discrimination because of their sexuality. Of course, how I believe this should be done might just be the colonialist in me talking.

Ultimately, though, how the Japanese handle their queer culture should be left up to them. Japanese queers should be allowed to define for themselves what their homosexuality means in terms of themselves personally and in terms of their culture. I feel (hope) that the general trend of global culture is progressing in such a way as to become more understanding of queers, but that progress is slow. While I might feel that coming out of the closet is a way to speed that progress, at the same time, every individual should decide for him/herself when coming out of the closet is appropriate. And different cultures should be able to decide for themselves what coming out of the closet means and how it can be done appropriately within the context of their cultures.

 Obviously, this is a very complex issue, but I’m glad that this experience has made me aware of it, and I will be paying much more attention to it in the future.