I’d never really thought about all the decorations that people keep in their houses before, until I was at a friend’s house recently. Until now, I’d never noticed just how much someone could figure out about her and her family’s religious ideas just by walking into her living room. There are crosses and angels and little plaques engraved with Bible verses everywhere! There are pictures of her and her sisters’ first communions. In the kitchen, there’s a picture of the pope next to a card that reads: “A Prayer for the Pope.” I think a rosary was sitting next to it. On the refrigerator are cross magnets and magnets with Bible verses. When my friend greeted me, she was wearing a t-shirt that said: “GOD DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ATHEISTS! (but He loves them anyway).” I’d forgotten that she had that shirt, but when I saw it, it seemed so ridiculous. I think it would make any atheist laugh. (And what would such a shirt about agnostics say? “God may or may not believe in agnostics”?)
Aside from the funny t-shirt, all of the religious paraphernalia made me feel a little nostalgic. I remembered when something as simple as a little card with a prayer on it would make me feel like God was watching out for me. I remember when I’d wear cross necklaces so that other people would know that I was a Christian. I even had the little cross that you were supposed to keep in your pocket that had a little poem to go along with it. There just seemed to be so many little things that I could do to let other Christians know, “Hey, I’m one of you!” It made me feel connected, a part of a community. And it was also comforting to have so many little reminders that God was looking out for me, that I was His child.
While I now know that a cross around my neck or in my pocket isn’t going to keep me safe, and I actually find it liberating to know that God isn’t always watching me, I do sometimes miss the various little rituals. Yes, we probably should be thanking the cook instead of God before we eat, but there’s something so comforting about praying before a meal. I don’t know if it’s just because it reminds me of being a little kid, when I trusted that Mommy and Daddy would take care of everything and my biggest worry was whether or not I’d been a good enough girl that day to get dessert.
Since leaving Christianity, I really haven’t found much to replace those rituals. Many of them I can do without, but there are a few that I miss. I miss having all the little knickknacks that automatically identify me with a larger group of people. As far as I know, aside from certain books and Richard Dawkins’s Scarlet Letter clothing and the Darwin fish, there aren’t many symbols that automatically associate a person with the atheist/agnostic/deist/freethinker/humanist group. There also aren’t a lot of rituals that govern the atheist/agnostic/deist/freethinker/humanist life. For the most part, I think that this is a good thing. After all, many rituals are repeated so often that they lose their meaning. And when the ritual itself becomes more important than what it means, it becomes nothing more than a burdensome gesture.
But I would like to come up with some personal rituals and maybe even symbols that could take the place of those few Christian rituals and paraphernalia that I miss. Some of these rituals I probably won’t be able to start doing until I have my own home, but I like thinking ahead about them. For instance, when I have my own household, instead of thanking God before every meal, we’ll thank the people who cooked. Instead of putting up plaques with Bible verses, I’ll put of plaques of other quotes that have meaning for me. Instead of religious-themed paintings or icons, I’ll have works of art that speak to me personally in some way.
Anybody else out there find any personal rituals or objects to fill the place once held by Christian rituals and symbols?
